SlightlySeaSaltyDiaries of Cap'n Jack the Pretty
by crazyEllie
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow's Diaries of his life on the sea, until he throws it overboard to ne'er be seen again.


**Title -** Slightly Sea Salty Diaries of Cap'n Jack - The Pretty

**Author -** crazyEllie

**Summary -** Funny little insight into Captain Jack's _very_ personal Diary.

**Pairing -** Captain Jack Sparrow and implied crush on Commander Norrington (but he won't admit to it!)

**Catagory -** Humour

**Disclaimer -**I don't own any of the characters in this fic, I just like to play with them

**Author's Note -** Hope you like stubborn!jack, bad-accent!jack and obsessive-compulsive!jackas much as me...Please review or send me an e-mail , as I am eager to know what I can improve in my writing and always happy to chat. - thanks- ellie

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**Slightly Sea Salty Diaries of Cap'n Jack - The pretty**

_7:26am Tuesday_

Woke up this mornin' to find a bloody 'ole in ol' _Jolly Mon_. This is no' good, no' good at all my friend. Water level rose 'bout two inches afore I could scoop it out. I only paused for a bit o' salute t' me fellow pirateers hung outside th' Port Royal when the wave knocked me bucket right from me 'ands. No longer was there 'ope of getting' any water out, so I climbed up th' mast once more and tried t' get the water out o' me new Italian boots. (Which are only a recent acquisition of mine.) I reached th' dock just in time t' find the damned harbourmaster stickin' 'is nose int' business no' concernin' 'im. I'm thinking of changin' me name to Smith fo' inconspic'ous reasons. But 'ave already changed me opinion once more on the matter. Sparrow will do me just fine for now.

_9:16am Tuesday_

Well, it isn' 'ard t' find two men duller than ol' Murtogg and Mullroy. Two men I was privillaged to meet a little while ago. No' only did they mistake me fo' a common civilian, but they couldn't get it across tha' neither th' _intercept _nor th' _dauntless_ would be a match fo' th' pearl on calm water. They argued amongst themselves for nearin' five minutes, givin me quite enough time to sneak past and ont' th' boat, er, ship. Stupid, Stupid men… We will have to talk about this, for surely Mullroy must've heard about m' pearl… _surely…_

_9:45am Tuesday_

I try to save a lass from drowning and nearly get me onesies hung in th' process. This worl' is up t' no good if you ask me. This Norrington bloke though, I think 'e might be a bit o' an interesting lad. I will have to keep me eyes wary on tha' one. Indeed…

_1:04pm Tuesday._

Can an'thing worse 'appen today? I made my wonderfull escape from the charmin' Norrington bloke, still wearing handcuffs and th' like, but when I went t' remove them 'another young lad waltzes in an' catches me. Ongoing scuffle (with some amazing footwork by moi) ensues an' after I do astonishin'ly well I gets knocked ou' by th' drunken blacksmith. Oncemore I ge' to see the dazzling commodore in all 'is splendor, wha' ever 'ave I done t' deserve such an 'onour?

_7:52pm_ _Tuesday_

I guess I was wrong. today can get worse. It is bad enough I 'ad to be locked up nex' t' those mangy bloody pirates, but now me camera's run out o' film. No photo from the cell, but I must say, it's dark wit' lots o' straw. Hang on, I think I hear me pearl in the distance. I will go out t' take me self a look see.

_7:56pm Tuesday_

Me Pearl is back!

_7:58pm Tuesday_

And She's blowin' 'oles in the fort!

_8:07pm Tuesday_

Those 'Mangy bloody pirates' managed a fine escape when a 'ole was blown through their cell wall. How bloody lovely. And now the keys run off. This is sooo not my day.

I wonder if th' commodore is alright…

_8:09pm Tuesday_

O' course th' commodores alright… 'E's a COMMODORE… I don' care 'bout commodores… an' I certainly don' care 'bout ones who try t' kill me.

_8:12pm Tuesday_

It was mo' imprisonment than _death_…

_8:16pm Tuesday_

I'm bored.

_8:17pm Tuesday_

Still Bored…

_8:18pm Tuesday_

Maybe I'll try the lock again.

_8:19pm Tuesday _

Nope. Still Bored.

_8:49pm Tuesday_

I'm goin' t' try 'ave a bit 'o sleep. Be no good t' be 'ung wit' bla' circles b'neath me eyes.

_7:26am Wednesday._

Ol' Will 'appened by this mornin'. 'E really is a nice lad. I borrowed 'is Camera t' take a few 'appy snaps. I think 'E want's me 'elp wit' the strumpet.

_7:43am Wednesday_

Apparently it wasn't a matter o' lock pickn' or keys or any'ing o' the like. It was all about bloody "lev'rage". Will jus' sprung me from th' cell moments afore. I am no' quite sure about how t' take the young boy Turner. 'E's jus' like ol' bootstrap. It's rather disconcertin'. An' I was right… Th' boy did wan' somethin'. I fear tha' I'm goin' on a grand adventure an' I probably won' be takin' me diary wit' me as it may get a little bi' too worn if we 'ave a run in wit' any pirates… 'ang on… any _scary_ pirates… oh, 'ang it. I jus' don't wan' me diary bein' nicked by Annamaria again. Las' time she found out about me fancy for ol' bootstraps. No' the righ' thing fer 'er discover, I guess- when your about t' marry th' man.

_7:44am Wednesday_

Changed m' mind. Mor' of a chance she'll get at it if I leave it behind.

_7:52am Wednesday_

Will is very confounding. I think 'e doesn't 'ave a clue about rescuing said fine strumpet.

_7:53am Wednesday_

Ah. Apparantly, 'e says 'e wants t' die fo' 'er.

_8:17am Wednesday_

Yay! I -we- just commandeered the _HMS Dauntless_. I want t' 'ave a nice party, but Will can't get th' sails up. 'E really is quite dim.

_8:18am Wednesday_

I'm startin' t' worry 'bout th' dim witt'd one.

_8:20am Wednesday_

We've set sail, but it appear Cap'n Jamie 'as it in 'is 'ead tha' we're... how should I put it... PIRATES! and he wants us DEAD!

_8:27am Wednesday_

It 'ppears tha' we are under not so very friendly fire.

_8:28am Wednesday_

Will thinks 'e can save th' day.

_8:29am Wednesday_

I am doomed.

_8:30am Wednesday_

I'm hiding.

_8:31am Wednesday_

On the en of th' pirate plank. Closest t' the' wat'r. Hell of a lot safer 'ere than wit' will. who is stil dancing around singin' pirate songs, trying to look tough. Scrawny dolt.

_8:42am Wednesday_

Nothin' is 'appening. Lots o' fire 'n such, but - No cap'n J! I miss 'im.

_8:43am Wednesday_

did I jus' say I missed 'im? EWW

**throws book into water :mutters: shall ne'er be found, shall ne'er be found :shakes head: **


End file.
